|
I went to sleep; and now I am refresh'd, |
A strange refreshment: for I feel in me |
An inexpressive lightness, and a sense {332} |
Of freedom, as I were at length myself, |
And ne'er had been before. How still it is! |
I hear no more the busy beat of time, |
No, nor my fluttering breath, nor struggling pulse; |
Nor does one moment differ from the next. |
I had a dream; yes:—some one softly said |
"He's gone;" and then a sigh went round the |
room. |
And then I surely heard a priestly voice |
Cry "Subvenite;" and they knelt in prayer. |
I seem to hear him still; but thin and low, |
And fainter and more faint the accents come, |
As at an ever-widening interval. |
Ah ! whence is this? What is this severance? |
This silence pours a solitariness |
Into the very essence of my soul; |
And the deep rest, so soothing and so sweet, |
Hath something too of sternness and of pain. |
For it drives back my thoughts upon their spring |
By a strange introversion, and perforce |
I now begin to feed upon myself, |
Because I have nought else to feed upon.—
|
Am I alive or dead? I am not dead, {333} |
But in the body still; for I possess |
A sort of confidence which clings to me, |
That each particular organ holds its place |
As heretofore, combining with the rest |
Into one symmetry, that wraps me round, |
And makes me man; and surely I could move, |
Did I but will it, every part of me. |
And yet I cannot to my sense bring home |
By very trial, that I have the power. |
'Tis strange; I cannot stir a hand or foot, |
I cannot make my fingers or my lips |
By mutual pressure witness each to each, |
Nor by the eyelid's instantaneous stroke |
Assure myself I have a body still. |
Nor do I know my very attitude, |
Nor if I stand, or lie, or sit, or kneel.
|
So much I know, not knowing how I know, |
That the vast universe, where I have dwelt, |
Is quitting me, or I am quitting it. |
Or I or it is rushing on the wings |
Of light or lightning on an onward course, |
And we e'en now are million miles apart. |
Yet ... is this peremptory severance {334} |
Wrought out in lengthening measurements of space |
Which grow and multiply by speed and time? |
Or am I traversing infinity |
By endless subdivision, hurrying back |
From finite towards infinitesimal, |
Thus dying out of the expansive world?
|
Another marvel: some one has me fast |
Within his ample palm; 'tis not a grasp |
Such as they use on earth, but all around |
Over the surface of my subtle being, |
As though I were a sphere, and capable |
To be accosted thus, a uniform |
And gentle pressure tells me I am not |
Self-moving, but borne forward on my way. |
And hark! I hear a singing; yet in sooth |
I cannot of that music rightly say |
Whether I hear, or touch, or taste the tones. |
Oh, what a heart-subduing melody!
|
|
My work is done, |
My task is o'er, |
And so I come, {335} |
Taking it home, |
For the crown is won, |
Alleluia, |
For evermore. |
My Father gave |
In charge to me |
This child of earth |
E'en from its birth, |
To serve and save, |
Alleluia, |
And saved is he. |
This child of clay |
To me was given, |
To rear and train |
By sorrow and pain |
In the narrow way, |
Alleluia, |
From earth to heaven.
|
|
It is a member of that family |
Of wondrous beings, who, ere the worlds were |
made, {336} |
Millions of ages back, have stood around |
The throne of God:—he never has known sin |
But through those cycles all but infinite, |
Has had a strong and pure celestial life, |
And bore to gaze on the unveil'd face of God, |
And drank from the everlasting Fount of truth, |
And served Him with a keen ecstatic love. |
Hark! he begins again. |
|
O Lord, how wonderful in depth and height, |
But most in man, how wonderful
Thou art! |
With what a love, what soft persuasive might |
Victorious o'er the stubborn
fleshly heart, |
Thy tale complete of saints Thou dost provide, |
To fill the thrones which angels lost through
pride! |
He lay a grovelling babe upon the ground, |
Polluted in the blood of his
first sire, |
With his whole essence shatter'd and unsound, |
And coil'd around his heart a
demon dire, |
Which was not of his nature, but had skill |
To bind and form his op'ning mind to ill. {337} |
Then was I sent from heaven to set right |
The balance in his soul of
truth and sin, |
And I have waged a long relentless fight, |
Resolved that death-environ'd
spirit to win, |
Which from its fallen state, when all was lost, |
Had been repurchased at so dread a cost. |
Oh, what a shifting parti-colour'd scene |
Of hope and fear, of triumph
and dismay, |
Of recklessness and penitence, has been |
The history of that dreary,
life-long fray! |
And oh, the grace to nerve him and to lead, |
How patient, prompt, and lavish at his need! |
O man, strange composite of heaven and earth! |
Majesty dwarf'd to baseness!
fragrant flower |
Running to poisonous seed! and seeming worth |
Cloking corruption! weakness
mastering power! |
Who never art so near to crime and shame, |
As when thou hast achieved some deed of name;— |
How should ethereal natures comprehend |
A thing made up of spirit and
of clay, |
Were we not task'd to nurse it and to tend, {338} |
Link'd one to one throughout
its mortal day? |
More than the Seraph in his height of place, |
The Angel-guardian knows and loves the ran- |
som'd race.
|
|
Now know I surely that I am at length |
Out of the body; had I part with earth, |
I never could have drunk those accents in, |
And not have worshipp'd as a god the voice |
That was so musical; but now I am |
So whole of heart, so calm, so self-possess'd, |
With such a full content, and with a sense |
So apprehensive and discriminant, |
As no temptation can intoxicate. |
Nor have I even terror at the thought |
That I am clasp'd by such a saintliness. |
|
All praise to Him, at whose sublime decree |
The last are first, the first
become the last; |
By whom the suppliant prisoner is set free, |
By whom proud first-borns from
their thrones |
are cast; {339} |
Who raises Mary to be Queen of heaven, |
While Lucifer is left, condemn'd and unforgiven. |
|
I will address him. Mighty one, my Lord, |
My Guardian Spirit, all hail! |
|
All hail, my child! |
My child and brother, hail! what wouldest thou? |
|
I would have nothing but to speak with thee |
For speaking's sake. I wish to hold with thee |
Conscious communion; though I fain would know |
A maze of things, were it but meet to ask, |
And not a curiousness. |
|
You cannot now |
Cherish a wish which ought not to be wish'd. |
|
Then I will speak. I ever had believed |
That on the moment when the struggling soul {340} |
Quitted its mortal case, forthwith it fell |
Under the awful Presence of its God, |
There to be judged and sent to its own place. |
What lets me now from going to my Lord? |
|
Thou art not let; but with extremest speed |
Art hurrying to the Just and Holy Judge: |
For scarcely art thou disembodied yet. |
Divide a moment, as men measure time, |
Into its million-million-millionth part, |
Yet even less than that the interval |
Since thou didst leave the body; and the priest |
Cried "Subvenite," and they fell to prayer; |
Nay, scarcely yet have they begun to pray. |
For spirits and men by different standards mete |
The less and greater in the flow of time. |
By sun and moon, primeval ordinances— |
By stars which rise and set harmoniously— |
By the recurring seasons, and the swing, |
This way and that, of the suspended rod |
Precise and punctual, men divide the hours, |
Equal, continuous, for their common use. {341} |
Not so with us in the immaterial world; |
But intervals in their succession |
Are measured by the living thought alone, |
And grow or wane with its intensity. |
And time is not a common property; |
But what is long is short, and swift is slow, |
And near is distant, as received and grasp'd |
By this mind and by that, and every one |
Is standard of his own chronology. |
And memory lacks its natural resting-points |
Of years, and centuries, and periods. |
It is thy very energy of thought |
Which keeps thee from thy God. |
|
Dear Angel, say, |
Why have I now no fear at meeting Him? |
Along my earthly life, the thought of death |
And judgment was to me most terrible. |
I had it aye before me, and I saw |
The Judge severe e'en in the Crucifix. |
Now that the hour is come, my fear is fled; |
And at this balance of my destiny, |
Now close upon me, I can forward look |
With a serenest joy. {342} |
|
It is because |
Then thou didst fear, that now thou dost not fear, |
Thou hast forestall'd the agony, and so |
For thee the bitterness of death is past. |
Also, because already in thy soul |
The judgment is begun. That day of doom, |
One and the same for the collected world,— |
That solemn consummation for all flesh, |
Is, in the case of each, anticipate |
Upon his death; and, as the last great day |
In the particular judgment is rehearsed, |
So now, too, ere thou comest to the Throne, |
A presage falls upon thee, as a ray |
Straight from the Judge, expressive of thy lot. |
That calm and joy uprising in thy soul |
Is first-fruit to thee of thy recompense, |
And heaven begun. |
|
But hark! upon my sense |
Comes a fierce hubbub, which would make me fear |
Could I be frighted. {343} |
|
We are now arrived |
Close on the judgment-court; that sullen howl |
Is from the demons who assemble there. |
It is the middle region, where of old |
Satan appeared among the sons of God, |
To cast his jibes and scoffs at holy Job. |
So now his legions throng the vestibule, |
Hungry and wild, to claim their property, |
And gather souls for hell. Hist to their cry. |
|
How sour and how uncouth a dissonance! |
|
Low-born clods |
Of brute earth |
They aspire |
To become gods, |
By a new birth, |
And an extra grace, |
And a score of merits, |
As if aught |
Could stand in place {344} |
Of the high thought, |
And the glance of fire |
Of the great spirits, |
The powers blest, |
The lords by right, |
The primal owners, |
Of the proud dwelling |
And realm of light,— |
Dispossess'd, |
Aside thrust, |
Chuck'd down |
By the sheer might |
Of a despot's will, |
Of a tyrant's frown, |
Who after expelling |
Their hosts, gave, |
Triumphant still, |
And still unjust, |
Each forfeit crown |
To psalm-droners, |
And canting groaners, |
To every slave, |
And pious cheat, |
And crawling knave, {345} |
Who lick'd the dust |
Under his feet. |
|
It is the restless panting of their being; |
Like beasts of prey, who, caged within their bars, |
In a deep hideous purring have their life, |
And an incessant pacing to and fro. |
|
The mind bold |
And independent, |
The purpose free, |
So we are told, |
Must not think |
To have the ascendant |
What's a saint? |
One whose breath |
Doth the air taint |
Before his death; |
A bundle of bones, |
Which fools adore, |
Ha! ha! |
When life is o'er; {346} |
Which rattle and stink, |
E'en in the flesh. |
We cry his pardon! |
No flesh hath he; |
Ha! ha! |
For it hath died, |
'Tis crucified |
Day by day, |
Afresh, afresh, |
Ha! ha! |
That holy clay, |
Ha! ha! |
This gains guerdon, |
So priestlings prate, |
Ha! ha! |
Before the Judge, |
And pleads and atones |
For spite and grudge, |
And bigot mood, |
And envy and hate, |
And greed of blood. {347} |
|
How impotent they are! and yet on earth |
They have repute for wondrous power and skill; |
And books describe, how that the very face |
Of the Evil One, if seen, would have a force |
Even to freeze the blood, and choke the life |
Of him who saw it. |
|
In thy trial-state |
Thou hadst a traitor nestling close at home, |
Connatural, who with the powers of hell |
Was leagued, and of thy senses kept the keys, |
And to that deadliest foe unlock'd thy heart. |
And therefore is it, in respect of man, |
Those fallen ones show so majestical. |
But, when some child of grace, Angel or Saint, |
Pure and upright in his integrity |
Of nature, meets the demons on their raid, |
They scud away as cowards from the fight. |
Nay, oft hath holy hermit in his cell, |
Not yet disburden'd of mortality, |
Mock'd at their threats and warlike overtures; {348} |
Or, dying, when they swarm'd, like flies, around, |
Defied them, and departed to his Judge. |
|
Virtue and vice, |
A knave's pretence, |
'Tis all the same; |
Ha! ha! |
Dread of hell-fire, |
Of the venomous flame, |
A coward's plea. |
Give him his price, |
Saint though he be, |
Ha! ha! |
From shrewd good sense |
He'll slave for hire |
Ha! ha! |
And does but aspire |
To the heaven above |
With sordid aim, |
And not from love. |
Ha! ha! |
|
I see not those false spirits; shall I see {349} |
My dearest Master, when I reach His Throne? |
Or hear, at least, His awful judgment-word |
With personal intonation, as I now |
Hear thee, not see thee, Angel? Hitherto |
All has been darkness since I left the earth; |
Shall I remain thus sight-bereft all through |
My penance-time? If so, how comes it then |
That I have hearing still, and taste, and touch, |
Yet not a glimmer of that princely sense |
Which binds ideas in one, and makes them live? |
|
Nor touch, nor taste, nor hearing hast thou |
now; |
Thou livest in a world of signs and types, |
The presentations of most holy truths, |
Living and strong, which now encompass thee. |
A disembodied soul, thou hast by right |
No converse with aught else beside thyself; |
But, lest so stern a solitude should load |
And break thy being, in mercy are vouchsafed |
Some lower measures of perception, |
Which seem to thee, as though through channels |
brought, {350} |
Through ear, or nerves, or palate, which are |
gone. |
And thou art wrapp'd and swathed around in |
dreams, |
Dreams that are true, yet enigmatical; |
For the belongings of thy present state, |
Save through such symbols, come not home to |
thee. |
And thus thou tell'st of space, and time, and |
size, |
Of fragrant, solid, bitter, musical, |
Of fire, and of refreshment after fire; |
As (let me use similitude of earth, |
To aid thee in the knowledge thou dost ask)— |
As ice which blisters may be said to burn. |
Nor hast thou now extension, with its parts |
Correlative,—long habit cozens thee,— |
Nor power to move thyself, nor limbs to move. |
Hast thou not heard of those, who after loss |
Of hand or foot, still cried that they had pains |
In hand or foot, as though they had it still? |
So is it now with thee, who hast not lost |
Thy hand or foot, but all which made up man. |
So will it be, until the joyous day {351} |
Of resurrection, when thou wilt regain |
All thou hast lost, new-made and glorified. |
How, even now, the consummated Saints |
See God in heaven, I may not explicate; |
Meanwhile, let it suffice thee to possess |
Such means of converse as are granted thee, |
Though, till that Beatific Vision, thou art blind; |
For e'en thy purgatory, which comes like fire, |
Is fire without its light. |
|
His will be done! |
I am not worthy e'er to see again |
The face of day; far less His countenance, |
Who is the very sun. Natheless in life, |
When I looked forward to my purgatory, |
It ever was my solace to believe, |
That, ere I plunged amid the avenging flame, |
I had one sight of Him to strengthen me. |
|
Nor rash nor vain is that presentiment; |
Yes,—for one moment thou shalt see thy Lord. |
Thus will it be: what time thou art arraign'd {352} |
Before the dread tribunal, and thy lot |
Is cast for ever, should it be to sit |
On His right hand among His pure elect, |
Then sight, or that which to the soul is sight, |
As by a lightning-flash, will come to thee, |
And thou shalt see, amid the dark profound, |
Whom thy soul loveth, and would fain approach,— |
One moment; but thou knowest not, my child, |
What thou dost ask: that sight of the Most Fair |
Will gladden thee, but it will pierce thee too. |
|
Thou speakest darkly, Angel; and an awe |
Falls on me, and a fear lest I be rash. |
|
There was a mortal, who is now above |
In the mid glory: he, when near to die, |
Was given communion with the Crucified,— |
Such, that the Master's very wounds were stamp'd |
Upon his flesh; and, from the agony |
Which thrill'd through body and soul in that |
embrace, |
Learn that the flame of the Everlasting Love |
Doth burn ere it transform ... {353} |
|
Thy judgment now is near, for we are come |
Into the veilèd presence of our God. |
|
I hear the voices that I left on earth. {365} |
|
It is the voice of friends around thy bed, |
Who say the "Subvenite" with the priest. |
Hither the echoes come; before the Throne |
Stands the great Angel of the Agony, |
The same who strengthen'd Him, what time He |
knelt |
Lone in that garden shade, bedew'd with blood. |
That Angel best can plead with Him for all |
Tormented souls, the dying and the dead. |
|
Jesu! by that shuddering dread which fell on Thee; |
Jesu! by that cold dismay which sicken'd Thee; |
Jesu! by that pang of heart which thrill'd in Thee; |
Jesu! by that mount of sins which crippled Thee; |
Jesu! by that sense of guilt which stifled Thee; |
Jesu! by that innocence which girdled Thee; |
Jesu! by that sanctity which reign'd in Thee; |
Jesu! by that Godhead which was one with Thee; |
Jesu! spare these souls which are so dear to Thee; |
Souls, who in prison, calm and patient, wait for |
Thee; {366} |
Hasten, Lord, their hour, and bid them come to |
Thee, |
To that glorious Home, where they shall ever gaze |
on Thee. |
|
I go before my Judge. Ah! …. |
|
…. Praise to His Name! |
The eager spirit has darted from my hold, |
And, with the intemperate energy of love, |
Flies to the dear feet of Emmanuel; |
But, ere it reach them, the keen sanctity, |
Which with its effluence, like a glory, clothes |
And circles round the Crucified, has seized, |
And scorch'd, and shrivell'd it; and now it lies |
Passive and still before the awful Throne. |
O happy, suffering soul! for it is safe, |
Consumed, yet quicken'd, by the glance of God. |
|
Take me away, and in the lowest deep |
There let me be, {367} |
And there in hope the lone night-watches keep, |
Told out for me. |
There, motionless and happy in my pain, |
Lone, not forlorn,— |
There will I sing my sad perpetual strain, |
Until the morn. |
There will I sing, and soothe my stricken breast, |
Which ne'er can cease |
To throb, and pine, and languish, till possest |
Of its Sole Peace. |
There will I sing my absent Lord and Love:— |
Take me away, |
That sooner I may rise, and go above, |
And see Him in the truth of everlasting day. |
|
Now let the golden prison ope its gates, |
Making sweet music, as each fold revolves |
Upon its ready hinge. And ye, great powers, |
Angels of Purgatory, receive from me |
My charge, a precious soul, until the day, |
When, from all bond and forfeiture released, |
I shall reclaim it for the courts of light. {368} |
|
1. Lord, Thou hast been our refuge: in every |
generation; |
2. Before the hills were born, and the world was: |
from age to age Thou art
God. |
3. Bring us not, Lord, very low: for Thou hast said, |
Come back again, ye sons
of Adam. |
4. A thousand years before Thine eyes are but as |
yesterday: and as a watch
of the night which |
is come and gone. |
5. The grass springs up in the morning: at evening |
tide it shrivels up and
dies. |
6. So we fail in Thine anger: and in Thy wrath are |
we troubled. |
7. Thou hast set our sins in Thy sight: and our |
round of days in the
light of Thy countenance. |
8. Come back, O Lord! how long: and be entreated |
for Thy servants. |
9. In Thy morning we shall be filled with Thy |
mercy: we shall rejoice
and be in pleasure all |
our days. {369} |
10. We shall be glad according to the days of our |
humiliation: and the
years in which we have |
seen evil. |
11. Look, O Lord, upon Thy servants and on Thy |
work: and direct their
children. |
12. And let the beauty of the Lord our God be |
upon us: and the work of
our hands, establish |
Thou it. |
Glory be to the Father, and to the Son: and to the |
Holy Ghost. |
As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall |
be: world without end.
Amen. |
|
Softly and gently, dearly-ransom'd soul, |
In my most loving arms I
now enfold thee, |
And, o'er the penal waters, as they roll, |
I poise thee, and I lower
thee, and hold thee. |
And carefully I dip thee in the lake, |
And thou, without a sob
or a resistance, |
Dost through the flood thy rapid passage take, |
Sinking deep, deeper,
into the dim distance. {370} |
Angels, to whom the willing task is given, |
Shall tend, and nurse,
and lull thee, as thou |
liest; |
And masses on the earth, and prayers in heaven, |
Shall aid thee at the
Throne of the Most |
Highest. |
Farewell, but not for ever! brother dear, |
Be brave and patient on
thy bed of sorrow; |
Swiftly shall pass thy night of trial here, |
And I will come and wake
thee on the morrow. |
The Oratory. |
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